Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
