Midget sex pt 2 tonight
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Randomize
