Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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