Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
