Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
