I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
