She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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