I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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