just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
