there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
