HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
