Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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