It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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