The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
