I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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