I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
