Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
