if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
