So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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