I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
