u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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