After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
