its not stalking. its research.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
