that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How does one acquire holy water?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
we're so committed to being not committed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
