I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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