I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
