He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
