If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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