he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
