hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
