she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
