I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
