i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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