There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
