is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
