My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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