Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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