my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
