i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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