do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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