i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We need to rekindle our bromance
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
