just tell him i said nine months
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
