i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
