Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
