i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
