Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
