Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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