All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
