so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
