I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
